Thank you to AARP for putting together this list of questions to ask if your loved one is in a nursing home.
It was 30+ years ago when I decided to open a service designed for those who wanted to remain at home rather than spend the last part of their lives living with others facing a similar fate.
It was to this end that Christel’s Home Care Agency began helping seniors and their families in the mid 1980’s. Our mission was, and still is, to provide an alternative to institutional settings.
We remain open and ready to help during this pandemic. Give us a call. Caregivers are waiting and looking forward to helping provide a safe home environment conducive to maintaining as much independence and quality of life possible.
Chris Christel, Owner
Recently, I posted on google that we have caregivers looking for work. When I started out over 30 years ago, my goal was strictly focused on helping seniors remain in the security and comfort of their own homes. While this mission has been a big success, I have shifted my focus somewhat over the years.
Besides helping seniors, I realized I was also helping caregivers find jobs, stay working, and support their families. So, while I continue to help our elderly community maintain the highest quality of life possible, an added benefit is finding rewarding work for those who directly provide the service.
Just a reminder that August 21st is “National Senior Citizens day”!
Please take the opportunity to help in any way you can. One idea would be to join together and share watching the eclipse that morning.
Remember to wear protective glasses!
Enjoy the day.
My wife and I recently watched the movie, The Notebook. It is a very moving account of one person’s perspective of what it is like to live with and take care of someone with dementia.
It is set in a nursing home and tells the story of a woman with Alzheimer’s disease who kept a journal/diary, a “notebook”, chronicling her life growing up in the 1940’s. The man Allie married, Noah, reads it to her in the hope that her memory of their life together will return. (It is not immediately apparent, at least not to me, that he is her husband and that the story he reads to her is about them.)
While the doctors there give him no cause for optimism, he continues reading to her; and indeed she will occasionally “return” for a short time – even playing songs on the piano from memory! There is a scene where family members visit but she doesn’t recognize them. Quite heart wrenching!
It raises some hard questions: Will my spouse eventually forget who I am or vice versa?
Why do some people get dementia and others don’t?
Lastly, this is a movie about life choices. We find out that Allie, unlike her mother, chooses love and passion over money and security.
What does this all have to do with home care?
The story brings out just how hard it is to watch someone decline and try your best to care for them. Noah did that job, 36 hours a day, until they die in their sleep together in each other’s arms.
In the end, at the final exam of life (if there is one) there is only one question: “How much have you loved?” Allie and Noah passed with flying colors!!
Thought provoking and emotionally charged, this is a movie for the ages!
Please comment and let me know what topics are of interest.
Because I have always specialized in providing live-in caregivers, my focus has been as much on personality and character as on their skill set. When it comes to evaluating a caregiver, I look for qualities that can't be learned in a nursing class: compassion, understanding, patience, etc.
While it is important to match the caregiver's skills with the client's needs, it is also vital to make sure they are "compatible". In a previous blog, I gave the example of caregivers who have either a "take charge" or "take orders" personality. A caregiver not only needs to have the right skill set, but how they perform their duties is equally important to insure long-term success of the home care placement.
For the temp/part-time caregiver, skill set is probably more important than their personality. But even then, I would submit that for the client's comfort and peace of mind, compatibility is necessary too.
Caregivers are always providing some type of companionship regardless of how busy they might be with other duties. While cooking, cleaning, driving, and personal care may be required, who is doing it and their attitude (hopefully friendly and upbeat) makes all the difference. A smile goes a long way!
Families run the gamut for how much they want to participate in their loved one’s life as the end nears. During my initial home visit, I specifically ask families how much contact they want from the caregivers who are taking care of their loved one.
I hear everything from “don’t bother us, that’s what we’re paying you to do” to “call me every day with an update”. Most times though, it is somewhere in between. I also encourage family members to make unannounced visits to check up on the caregiver. I also do this and have the caregivers keep daily “nursing notes” so visitors can read about how the patient is doing.
We make no judgment about the level of family involvement and try to accommodate their wishes.
At a minimum, someone usually needs to pay the bills every so often unless a payroll company or fiduciary is hired. Most other responsibilities can be outsourced or handled by the caregiver or myself. Toward the very end, some families contact hospice for help. They specialize in “palliative care” which means keeping the patient as pain-free and comfortable as possible. Hospice provides a team of professionals who interact with those involved in the home care in order to make the transition as smooth as possible.
In conclusion, family’s can be as involved as they wish. Those who serve seniors need to be aware how difficult it can be not only for the ailing senior, but for those around them who have their own set of needs, emotional and otherwise. Caregivers need to understand their job is to support and assist family members as well as their patient.
My reason for getting into home health care was to keep seniors out of nursing homes. Back in the 80’s when I started Christel’s Home Care, these institutions were “warehouses” for those society no longer had a use for. The frail elderly were hidden away and forgotten. The only way to leave was to be carried out “in a box”. It was a one-way ticket on a ride nobody wanted to take.
Back in those days, “good nursing home” was an oxymoron. Their goal was profit, and the less services they provided, the better their bottom line was. It seemed like a conflict of interest to me. In my mind, they were taking advantage of a segment of the population who were vulnerable and at risk. Neglect and abuse were not uncommon.
I was exposed to these places in my role as a social worker on the East coast back in the 70’s. When I relocated to CA. I made it my mission to help seniors who wanted to remain in the security and comfort of their own home.
Fast forward to today. If you have enough money, you can find a nice place to live, a “community” that offers services conducive to maintaining quality of life. However, statistics show that most seniors would prefer to “age in place”. When I am called upon to make this happen, I am usually contacted by an adult child of a senior looking for a caregiver for their parent. These adult children have been called the “sandwich generation” because they not only have their own children to care for but aging parents as well. They are “sandwiched” in between with double the responsibility and not enough time!
In next month’s blog, I will address how family’s can best cope with this burden, or better yet, labor of love.
This month I’d like to address the caregiver’s ability and willingness to work with others. It might be other caregivers, family members, visiting nurses or other professionals there to help the client.
In January I talked about a caregiver who can “take charge” of the situation. I spoke about it in a positive way that gives everyone peace of mind. However, like everything else, balance is needed or it can be taken too far. Power struggles are not uncommon. What do I mean?
No one should be indispensible. Yes, if a client has more than one caregiver they will most likely have a “favorite” that they’d like to be there all the time. However, I have seen caregivers say and do things that are detrimental, that foster premature dependence. Perhaps the caregiver thinks this tactic will give them more job security. Perhaps it is not even done consciously or intentionally. In any event, this is the opposite of our goal to maximize a client’s independence and quality of life. Most are not benefitted by being waited on “hand and foot”.
So just a “heads up” to make sure your caregiver can cooperate with others and be the team player you need to have the system you have in place function optimally. One of my roles after making a caregiver placement is to see that things run smoothly and to intervene if they don’t. A skilled professional can spot a small problem before it becomes a big one.
Share comments here if you have questions or other topics of interest that you would like me to focus on.
Chris Christel, Author
Chris Christel, a pioneer in geriatric care, founded Christel's Home Care Agency in 1985. Chris has a Master's degree in Counseling Psychology and a wealth of knowledge in the field of home care.